Fic Title: These Days
Chapter Title: Hearts Breaking Even
Rating: NC-17
Comments: This is the longest chapter yet, and I think there are several reasons. The first one is, of course, there was a lot of plot to get out of the way. Like a lot a lot. The second is that "Hearts Breaking Even" is a song with a very personal meaning to me, and as such, it was really important to me to convey it's meaning properly in this chapter.

( Just two hearts breaking even, is all. )

Title: Death is never the end
Fandom: Batman (comics)
Pairing: Dick Grayson/Bruce Wayne
Rating: R-ish
Comments: The final installment of my songfic meme. I had trouble with this one. I don't know why. I tried to pretend, also, that Blackest Night wasn't happening. So don't be like "WHERE R THA ZOMBIES!!1?/"

( Darling our love was much too strong to die. )

Title: Leisure
Fandom: Speed Racer
Pairing: Jack "Cannonball" Taylor/Inspector Detector, hinting at Racer X/Inspector Detector
Rating: A hard PG-13
Comments: The fourth entry in my Songfic Meme. This is written for the song "The Tragic Story of Rex Racer" from the Speed Racer BGM. I was initially tempted to write something not--Speed Racer for this, and I even got the start of a Captain Marvel Jr./Mary Marvel drabble, which I may finish later, but in the end I succumbed. This takes place in the same universe as my fic "These Days", and includes a mild spoiler for the next chapter if you read into it too hard. The song, being instrumental, was a bit hard to write a fanfic to, and I wanted to deviate from the theme of Rex Racer becoming Racer X. In the end, after listening to the song a million times, I determined that the slow beat gradually working towards a loud climax was not unlike sex. But I apparently wasn't in the mood to write that, but I tried to create a mood based on the song.

( *instrumental music* )

Title: Vocabulary Exercises
Fandom: Pokemon
Pairing: Pikachu/Meowth
Rating: PG
Comments: From my songfic meme using the song "Hey Pikachu" as a base. I found that I actually wanted to continue this piece past it's current drabble form, and I may do so at some later date, expanding on several areas. I enjoyed writing it, it's something I wouldn't normally do.

Title: "Legacy"
Fandom: Pokemon
Pairing: None
Rating: PG-13 (mild violence)
Comments: From my songfic meme using the song "History" by Michael Jackson as a base.

These can be of any category you like, but you must follow the rules. Put your iPod/MP3/Playlist/Player on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up. Congratulations! You must now write a drabble inspired by each of those songs within the next 48 hours NOT WITH MY SCHEDULE. Don't forget to tag your friends! Can you do it?

(I did this same meme last year on October 28th, through my regular personal journal: glanth .)

Song List:
1. I'm Gonna Love You Too by Buddy Holly FINISHED
2. History by Michael Jackson FINSIHED
3. Hey! Pikachu from Pokemon (oh jesus why) FINISHED
4. Tragic Story of Rex Racer from Speed Racer BGM FINISHED
5. Hasta Manana by Abba FINISHED

Alright. Not such a bad song list at all. X3 Though number three is going to have to be some kawaii weaboo fluff piece about Pikachu and Meowth, sorry, deal with it. XD

Okay. This will be a nice break from working on the newest chapter of These Days. I'll try to get writing on this today.

DA Page
These Days Chapter Three: This Ain’t a Love Song



    “Hey, was Speed here today?” Detector asked as he gently shut the door behind him, loosening his tie with his free hand.
    X stepped out of the bedroom where he had been hastily dressing himself. “Yeah, he came by to ask for my advice about some trouble with Trixie.” X cursed himself inwardly for how easily the lie had come out.
    Detector laughed with a hint of forcefulness, “That sounds like a movie ‘The Trouble with Trixie’.”
    X chuckled awkwardly as he stepped up to Detector. “How was work?”
    Detector flung his tie on the back of the couch, and slipped out of his sports jacket, “Christ, it’s like all of this Royalton paperwork will never end; it seems like the entire CIB is gathered in the building working on this one case, it always feels so good to get home and be with you--away from all of that.”
    “It’ll get easy again, I know it will. With Royalton out of the way, none of the fixers will have anyone to fall back on--”
    “--Unless there’s a new Royalton waiting to take his place. X, you know that scares me every day. What if there’s more? What if Royalton wasn’t actually at the top--”
    “Worrying will get you no where.” X wrapped his arms around Detectors shoulders and held him against his chest for a few moments, “Take this whole thing one step at a time, I promise, it will all come clean.”
    “You’re always so sure.”
    “I’ve live with you for years, I learned.” X kissed Detector on the forehead gently, and broke away, making for the kitchenette. “I have a lasagna in the fridge, what do you say we heat it up and see if there aren’t any movies that we could watch?”
    “A nice peaceful night in, you know me too well.” Detector smiled, “You know, someone at work mentioned that ‘Shadow of a Doubt’ is on tonight, that could be fun.”
    “Sounds like a plan,” X smiled as Detector began fiddling with the television, “I’ll preheat the oven.”

    “Speed, you know I’ve hardly seen you since you were discharged, no one has--” Trixie hesitated a moment, twirling the phone cord around her index finger.
    “Trix, you know me, I’m doing just fine. I just had to go work out some stuff with Racer X.”
    “What do you need to work out with him? Don’t you think that at this point you need your family around you?”
    “No, Trixie. At this point I think I need to seek the smaller comforts, wherever I can find them.”
    Trixie bit her lip, “Do you really think that will help you heal?”
    “Yes.” Speed hung the phone up, and leaned back in his bed. Talking to Trixie could grow so tedious.

    Detector held the edge of the  throw that he had wrapped himself up in out to X as he walked towards the couch. “We’re just in time, the movie’s only been on for a few moments.”
    “Great.” X forced a smile, and sat down next to Detector, who snuggled against him under the fleece.
    As Detector burrowed his cheek into X’s shoulder, his eyes caught sight of the vase of roses that had been carefully placed some weeks prior on the side table. They had wilted, their brown petals gathered around the translucent vase on the dusty tabletop, the water a grey murky colour. For the life of him, Detector could not remember when the roses had died, or even when the water had last been changed. He reached out and picked up one of the dry petals from the table and rubbed it between his fingertips, emitting a musty odour.
    “What’s going on?” X asked, leaning back to watch Detector’s behaviour.
    “Can you remember when they died? I can’t seem to remember--”
    “It must have happened recently.” X mused.
    “Huh. I guess we just lost track of them.” Detector said, dropping the petal’s remains back onto the tabletop.
    “We must have.”
    “Do you think we could get some more? They looked so--nice.”
    “I’ll see if I can tomorrow.”
    Detector turned back to the TV, but he couldn’t find himself drawn back into the noir classic, the characters seem static and uninteresting. He slid his hand along X’s thigh underneath the fleece throw, feeling the tight warmth of his leather pants.
    “I better put the lasagna in.” X rose and walked briskly towards the kitchenette. Detector frowned, but said nothing, choosing instead to wrap the throw tighter around his own frame.

    Speed rolled over on his bed, smiling at a newspaper cutting he had pinned to his wall, it detailed the time Taejo, X, and him had won big at Casa Cristo. As he thought about X, he could feel his cock hardening underneath his flannel pajama pants. He reached down and rubbed the head, leaning back against his pillow with a firm smile. He worked his length up and down, trying to make his hand wrapped around his erection feel just the same way that X had.
   
    Detector sat alone on the couch, Charlie was giving her final love filled speech after having escaped death yet again, and X’s half eaten lasagna had grown cold on the coffee table where it had been left. X had suddenly risen, and after a brief almost apologetic look towards Detector, had mumbled something about trying out some changes he had made to the Falling Star’s engine. Late night drives had never been rare, during all of the years that they had been together, but it seemed as though during the last few weeks X had left more and more, at inconvenient times, with little or no explanation. Detector wiped the edges of his eyes with his shirttails.
    “This scene always makes me weepy,” he said to no one in particular.
   
    X sat alone in the Falling Star, staring at the bright lights of Thunderhead Raceway from the parking lot, his leather-clad knuckles bent hard around the steering wheel. He could feel his cheeks heating up underneath his mask. Detector was right, though, no matter how hard he tried he could not remember at what point in time the vase of roses had died. It reminded him of trying to recall when Summer gave way to Fall, there never seemed to be a specific time, it just--gradually--changed.
    More than Summer, more than The Roses, X was thinking about when, at what point, he had stopped loving Detector. He couldn’t help but feel like the last few years of his life had been wasted, the love had faded away as quickly as it had arrived, and his plans were shattered. Ever since he was a teenager, he had counted on Detector for innumerable things, besides food and shelter, Detector had provided the emotional foundation to make his life actually worthwhile. Their life had been perfect.
    They had done so much together, always laughing. Going to CIB-sponsored events like masquerades, picnics, barbeques, and always delighting in being the couple out of place--The Inspector Detector and his mysterious companion the Harbinger of Boom. The rumours that had flitted about at all of the events, the questions, the wandering eyes, it was part of their delightful romantic adventure that they had created as a renegade duo. Somewhere along the way they had stopped going, at some point their idea of a good time had become sitting at home, alone, and eating an inexpensive dinner while watching ‘whatever movie was on TV.’
    X inhaled the smell of wet leather as his tears soaked the inside of his cowl, and he leaned back, staring up at the stars from the open roof of his car. He, they had counted on so much over the years, they had made so many plans. But even as X cried, and even as he felt the tightening pain gathering beneath his sternum, he knew that he was clinging hopelessly to something he had forever lost. He was wrong, everything he had planned, their love and their life had ceased a long time ago to be a romantic adventure.
    “Then I’m wrong, I’m wrong, I’m so very wrong to be sitting here alone and crying.” X thought to himself, he should be letting Detector go, he can’t be clinging to what isn’t his anymore. It wasn’t fair to him, it wasn’t fair to Detector, it was fair to--Speed. X cursed himself inwardly as he thought about Speed Racer, whom he had held in his arms that afternoon, whom he had fucked--made love?--to.
    X fumbled in his glove box trying to find his hidden pack of Marl Reds. His fingers met the familiar texture of paper and plastic as a pair of headlights caught his eyes and distracted him. He clutched the pack in his head and looked up at the space next to his.
    A car came to a gradual halt and in his haste to hide his tears from even a complete stranger, X began to pull out of his parking spot, struggling to light his cigarette at the same time..
    “Wait!” X hit the brakes as Detector stepped out of his beat up Chevy. “I--I thought I’d find you here. It seemed right.” Detector opened the door of the Falling Star and sat down in the passenger seat. “How did the engine changes work out?”
    “Huh?” X dropped his cigarette as he looked up, betraying his emotions with a crack in his voice, “Oh, they--they worked out well.”
    “X.”
    “Detector?”
    “Take your cowl off.”
    “I can’t, we’re, we’re in public--”
    “Take it off.”
    X looked down and complied, unzipping his cowl along the back of his head, and pulling it off to reveal his red, tearstained face.
    “I had a feeling it had come to this.”
    “Detector?”   
    Detector placed his hand on X’s knee, trying harder than ever to keep his emotions in check. “Is this what you’ve been doing, all these years? These--nighttime drives?”
    “No--only--only recently. I--usually I just need the air--”
    “X. If the pain is the only reason that you’re clinging to this--I need you to be honest with me.” Detector took his glasses off and massaged the bridge of his nose roughly, trying to will the tears out of his own eyes.
    “Detector, I--” X reached down, attemting to clasp Detector’s hands in his own.
    “I should have realized it a long time ago,” Detector said, betraying the emotions that were assaulting him through his tone of voice, “But--well--it’s all over isn’t it?”
    “Detector, I need you to know--”
    “--That you did love me. I know. I still do love you, you know. I think I always will.” Detector massaged his face with his palms, be strong, be strong, “Make sure he takes care of you--Speed, I mean. Don’t let him hurt you--I’ve known you to long to--go and--”
    “How-did you?”
    “Intuition, I guess? You know, you can be so delicate. I--I do hope that he’s good to you. Seriously, I have loved you too long to just leave and let some kid hurt you.”
    X gripped Detector at the base of his skull and pulled him towards his lips for a rough kiss. Their tongues met between dry lips as their hands sound out small comforts on each others bodies, working beneath shirts, zips coming undone. As they broke for air, Detector kissed a tear away from X’s cheek, “I thought we had got away with the perfect crime, you know that? I had you all to myself for so long, I had to have known--eventually--”
    X silenced him with another brutal kiss, pulling him from the passenger seat to rest atop his hips, thrusting gently up against his pelvis.
    “It’s hard to--to admit--that this is the last time you’ll hold me in your arms,” Detector said wistfully, “but--I can’t. X, I can’t. It hurts too much.”
    Detector reached under X’s arm and opened the driver’s side door, deftly climbing out of the car. “I have to go, I won’t be at the apartment, but don’t--don’t worry about me. You always worry too much--” He turned away sharply and hesitated, before turning back and gripping the top of the window, leaning into the car, “Just remember he’s--he’s just a kid. What seems like the world to you might just be--puppy love for him.” Detector straightened up and turned back around, walking towards his car, “That’s what they told me about you.”
    X leaned his forehead against the steering wheel, feeling the tears starting again as Detector climbed into his own car and drove away.

Fic title: These Days
Chapter Title: Damned
Fic rating: NC-17
Fic concept: A series of fics based on the album "These Days" by Bon Jovi, each chapter titled by a song from the album.



   

    The light was bright, it glared, it encompassed his entire vision. He screwed his eyes shut, feeling saline brimming over the edges and down his cheeks. He opened his eyes again, but was still assaulted by the lights. He closed his eyes and moved his hand to shade them. He heard a struggle, something clattered on the floor. He opened his eyes again.
    “Speed?” He recognized Trixie’s voice.
    He tried to speak, but his words came out as a muffled wheeze.
    There was another clatter, and retreating footsteps.
    “Nurse! He’s--He’s awake!”
    More footsteps.
    Speed’s eyes were slowly adjusting to the glaring lights, he could see a shadowy form hovering above himself.
    “T-Trix?” He managed.
    “I’m here.” Trixie.
    Speed closed his eyes.
    “Speed!? No, don’t close your eyes, stay with me!”
    “I’m fine.” Speed growled.
    “Speed?” Pleading.
    “I need to see X.”
    “Speed, why? I’m here!”
    “I need to see X.” Speed felt his eyelids weighing down. Trixie’s voice sounded like it was coming to him from far away as he exhaled slowly and felt his body sag.

    “Rex?” Inspector Detector called from the kitchenette, muffling the receiver with the palm of his hand.
    Racer X walked into the room methodically wiping engine grease off his hands on a damp rag. “Yes?”
    “It’s Speed.” Detector watched X’s face tense up, “He’s awake.”
    “His family is with him.” X turned around and started retreating down the hallway.
    “He’s--asking for you.”
    “He’s asking for Rex.” X turned around, and Detector could see his furrowed brow, “It can’t be helped.”
    “No--He’s--” Detector almost didn’t want to explain. He couldn’t quite fathom why, but he was exceptionally jealous of the relationship that Rex and Speed had shared, however far gone it was. “He’s asking for Racer X.”
    Rex hesitated. “Why?”
    “I don’t know. A-are you going to him?” Detector shifted his palm on the receiver, anticipating X’s response
    “I have to.” X moved briskly towards the bedroom and returned with his cowl and mask in hand.
    “He’s on his way.” Detector managed into the phone.
    Detector put the phone down on the counter and walked towards X, who was putting his boots on by the door. Detector leaned against him, resting his cheek on X’s chest. He could feel X’s torso shift as he sighed. X reached up and gently mussed his hair.
    “Be careful.” Detector said, his throat tightening.
    X kissed Detector on the hairline. “I always am.” He said slowly, and broke away from Detector to open the front door.
    As the deadbolt clicked into place behind X Detector took his glasses off and massaged the bridge of his nose tightly.
   
    Footsteps.
    Inaudible whispering outside.
    More footsteps.
    “Speed?” Racer X.
    Speed opened his eyes. He blinked to rinse the glaring hospital lights out of his vision. Racer X was standing beside his bed, his mouth turned down in a scowl. Trixie was by the door.
    “Trix--”
    “--Speed--”
    “--Leave.”
    Trixie bit her lip, her eyes reflecting the bright lights through unshed tears. She stepped out the door and shut it behind her slowly.
    “Speed--” Racer X began, but couldn’t bring himself to finish.
    “Racer X.” Speed licked his lips with a dry tongue. “I need to ask you something.”
    X pulled up the visitor’s chair and sat down close to the head of the bed. Speed closed his eyes for a moment and reopened them. “I need to explain first.”
    X inhaled, his chest felt tight and his palms sweaty within his leather gloves. “Take your time, Speed.”
    “My brother Rex--”
    X inhaled sharply, his jaw clenched.
    “--tried really hard to succeed in what he believed in. He died trying. I always kind of thought that my hero, the most important person who I would ever meet, had died, that as a child I had met that person, and I would never have a chance to feel like--Like I had a purpose again--”
    “--Speed--”
    “--Let me finish.”
    X nodded slowly, swallowing through his constricted throat.
    “You, and Detector, and Taejo, you all came into my life, and you showed me an amazing purpose. And I slowly realized, that--That was what Rex was trying to do. Rex was trying to change the WRL, and he died doing it. And--And we did it. We changed it forever.”
    X closed his eyes under the shade of his cowl.
    “Don’t--I mean--Don’t you think that--Well. Rex’s purpose is complete. Doesn’t that make him really and truly dead for the first time?”
    “I--”
    “I mean, he failed. He tried, and he failed. And now, that cause that he died for--It’s unnecessary! He--He’s really dead.”
    “Speed--”
    “My brother Rex, he’s faded away now. His records have been broken, the cause he fought for has a new champion. I don’t want to be like that, Racer X.”
    “Why are you telling me this?”
    “You’re the only person I can tell.”
    “Why?”
    “Because you’re not my brother. Because I just woke up in a hospital, and I’m not sure, but I think last night I tried to make the jump at Thunderhead without a car.”
    X realized that over the course of Speed’s confession the lens of his cowl had fogged over. He reached up and unzipped the hood, and pulled it off his head slowly. His cheeks were damp with saline.
    “Racer X--” Speed began before swallowing, “I--I think you might be the first person I’ve met in a long time who makes me--Makes me think that maybe there is something worth living for besides Rex.”
    “Speed--”
    “When I thought about what I was going to do I thought about everybody--How they would look, and act, after I died and somehow--It was your reaction that I dreaded. I never want to see you the way I saw you in my imagination.”
    “Why are you telling me this now?” X massaged the bridge of his nose, a learned habit.
    “I guess prospective death kind of--I don’t know. Put my wind up.” Speed smiled weakly. “You-you’re positive you aren’t my brother, right?”
    X choked. He never felt guiltier than now about his long kept secret. “Y-yes. I’m positive.”
    Speed reached out feebly to grasp X’s hand in his own. “Good.”
    X inhaled shakily.
    “Racer X?” Speed turned his head towards X.
    “Y-Yes, S-Speed?” X tried to imagine that it someone else making him feel like this. His heart beat a quick tattoo against his chest.
    “Will you kiss me?”
    X exhaled, his throat constricted tighter, and he closed his eyes. In the few moments he had before he needed to respond, he said a quick prayer for forgiveness. “Yes Speed.” He managed, his voice sounded lower than usual. X tightened his eyes and leaned down, meeting Speed’s lips with his own.
    Speed smiled widely, pressing his closed lips against X’s forcefully. X clenched his teeth and closed his eyes. All of his instincts were crying out that he was doing the worst thing he could possibly be doing, that this was not going to be the proper first step on the road to recovery for Speed. But at the same time, an iota of his being was leaping in the air, fists raised to the sky in a dance of triumphant joy.
    Inspector Detector’s face flashed briefly in X’s mind’s eye. His expression was blank, impassive. X closed his jaw tighter, willing himself to not breathe. His chest hurt. Speed leaned out of the kiss, and smiled. Briefly, his eyes glinted almost maliciously. X grimaced. Speed’s grin widened.
    “Is this really want you want?” X managed, feeling a strained tightness stretching across his sternum.
    “In every way possible.” Speed’s eyes narrowed, and it was hard for X to tell if it was only from his smiling.
    “I’m damned for this. Did you know that?” X licked his lips, finding it increasingly harder to intake enough air into his lungs.
    “Damned? How so?”
    “In every way possible.” X said in a hushed voice. I’ll be damned if you love me, but I’ll be equally damned if you don’t.
    Speed’s smiled softened slightly. “You sir, are a silly man.” He puckered his lips for another kiss.
    X sighed, willing the tears in the edges of his eyes away. “Maybe so.” He leaned in and kissed Speed again. Detector was there again, in his head. He thought about everything Detector had done for him over the years, of all of the work they had done together, he thought of the bed that they shared, and acknowledged that his side of the bed was going to continue getting colder. X didn’t have the willpower to avoid Speed, somehow it was something he had wanted for many years because, simply put, it meant he and Speed would be able to really spend time together again. With this thought in his mind X didn’t pull away when Speed gently licked his lips. Even though he knew that it was not the correct path, X opened his mouth and granted Speed entrance.
    Speed cupped X’s cheek in his hand and tilted his chin up, deepening the kiss. A tear splashed onto Speed’s cheek.

-

    X looked over at Speed. Speed’s eyes were fixated on the popcorn ceiling of the home X and Inspector Detector shared. X closed his eyes tightly and rolled over, wrapping his arms around Speed and kissing him, pressing their lips together.
    Detector had been called out of city for a project with the CIB, and X had taken the time to call Speed. They had not been in contact since Speed had been discharged from the hospital. However, upon actually seeing each other the two men had allowed anxiousness to get the better of both of them. They had disrobed, and laid in the bed, but neither men had been able to make a move for some time.
    X ran his hand down Speed’s side, gripping his hip as he moved his hips against X forcefully. X bit Speed’s lower lip, and kissed his way along Speed’s jaw line, pausing to nip gently at his throat, and worked his way down to one nipple. He managed to find his way around Speed’s body, planting small kisses along the young skin, with his eyes tightly screwed shut.
    He tried, albeit hopelessly, to imagine that the supple body, reacting in gentle little jerks to his ministrations, was any body but that of Speed Racer. Speed tentatively brought his hands up, raking his fingers along X’s ribcage and across his broad chest until they reached his face, which Speed held firmly, bringing him up to eye level. X kept his eyes shut.
    “Why won’t you look at me?” Speed asked in a hushed voice, running a calloused thumb over X’s eyelid.
    “I’m terrified--” X ran out of words, his breathing sounded ragged even in his own ears.
    Speed kissed X gently on the cheekbone, “Terrified?”
    X exhaled, a dull pain was forming beneath his sternum, “I’m terrified that I’ll open my eyes and--and--I’ll see you.”
    Speed chuckled, his breast vibrating with the low rumbling sound against X, “I am here, you know.”
    “I know--” X whispered, “That’s why I’m so scared.”
    Speed released X’s face to wrap his arms around X’s torso, pulling him down sharply and began to nibble at X’s neck and shoulder roughly. X groaned, the sound reverberating through his throat.
    “Racer X,” Speed said in a hushed voice, moist heat caressing X’s throat from between his lips, “I want to be inside of you.”
    X’s breath caught in his throat and he could feel a wave of terror run down his body, “Speed, I--”
    “Now.” Speed said softly, running his hands down X’s back to cup his buttocks.
    Speed kissed X on the lips, gently and first, and then more forcefully. Through a constricted throat X managed, “Condoms--in the bottom drawer of the nightstand.”
    Speed rolled over and fished a condom out of the drawer and waved it in the air without facing X. “Do you have lube in here, too? Or do you and the good Inspector--”
    “--Please don’t.” X clenched his jaw. The last thing he needed was for Speed to bring up that he had someone else, someone who loved him. Someone who, many times, he firmly believed he loved as well.
    “Fine, I--” Speed rolled over, “Never mind, found it!”
    Speed kissed X again, running his hand down X’s chest and hesitating on his waistline, moving back and forth where the waistband of his boxers was.
    X growled softly in the back of his throat.
    “If we’re going to do this, let’s get it over with!” X growled through clenched teeth.
    “Feisty today?” Speed smirked.
    X grabbed Speed at the nape of his neck and pulled him into a hard kiss. “Shut up--and get this over with!”
    Speed hastily unwrapped a condom and, pinching the tip, rolled it over his hardened cock. X could feel sweat collecting at his hairline and dripping into his eyebrows as Speed began to laboriously work his cock, squirting about half a teaspoon of lube onto his hand and working it onto his skin.
    X closed his eyes tightly and tried to give in to the moment. He felt his shoulders spasm lightly with each wave of pleasure radiating from his groin. Two race-callused fingers gently daubed the same lubricant onto his clenching and unclenching anus. Indecision flickered across X’s eyelids in the form of a brief spasm that only Speed could read. Speed could read any of X’s reactions, and, unknown to X could quail them in their infant forms. Speed pressed a kiss onto X’s eyelids, each in turn, and hummed gently--a variation of a tune that he had frequently heard his mother hum in the kitchen. Two tiny trickles of tears worked their way out of X’s closed eyes, and Speed quickly kissed them away.
    “Da dum dum dum,” Speed hummed, positioning his cock at X’s entrance.
    “Speed” X breathed, his chest rising and falling rapidly, “Speed, I--”
    “Duuuuuuuu--” Speed pushed into X in one go, “--uuuum!”
    X groaned, pushing up against Speed, trying his hardest to not remember the way Speed’s tiny frail form has sat in his lap in the Mach 4 at Thunderhead, trying not to remember how he used to watch Speed’s face, and the minute changes in it whenever he forced him to close his eyes, X tried not to remember any of this, and he failed miserably.
   
    In the end, Speed rose and, without being bidden, dressed and left. Flashing a last grin at X before he closed the bedroom door behind him. X laid in the bed for a long time, and as the heat dissipated the sheets and comforter felt clammy and cold against his body. He rose and opened the window to air the bedroom out, and as he looked down into the parking lot of the apartment complex he saw Detector’s car pulling into his spot.

Fic title: "These days"
Chapter title: "These Days"
Fic rating: NC-17
Fic concept: A series of fics based on the album "These Days" by Bon Jovi, each chapter titled by a song from the album.




Speed stepped out of the Mach 6 slowly, his knees wobbled as he took a few tentative paces into Victory Lane. His mind was muddled, a kind of deep haze hampered his senses. Something, however, was slowly beginning to work its way through his emotional blank state, like the frantic Aldus lamp of a ship coming into bay signaling the light house, a single camera flash was working through the fog.
    Flash.
    Flash.
    Flash.
    Speed blinked, shaking the stars out of his eyes. He took his helmet off, and suddenly his hearing returned to him in full force. The crowd was screaming, Trixie was running towards him, Pops, Ma, Spritle, and Chim Chim in tow. He became suddenly conscious of the sweat that stuck his bangs to his brow, pasting his leather coat, through the polo he wore underneath, to his slick back. He shook his head, a slow smile spreading across his face, and the drops of sweat send out into the ether grabbed the strobing camera lights and hung momentarily in space, tiny stars surrounding the champion as a bouquet of roses was thrust into his arms.
     Trixie leaned in and kissed him, his lips slowly puckering against hers as the myriad camera flashes increased in intensity. Pops said something about Racer Family Pride. Speed found himself giving a peace sign to the cameras, and with slow hand motions he indicated Sparky, eliciting praise from clamoring reporters for his skills as a technician.
    Speed turned, bowing one last time to the cameras as a path was made open to him, and made his way towards the track’s locker rooms, located just off of Victory Lane.

    Inside the locker rooms he was alone. He sat on the peeling wood bench in front of the lockers and closed his eyes, savoring the muffled effect the concrete walls around him had on the activity outside. He opened his eyes, and slowly withdrew the tattered picture of Rex he kept sandwiched between his jacket and his heart. He allowed himself a gradual smile, forgetting the crowd outside for a moment, and imagined that the serene expression on Rex’s face in the picture was for him, for his victory. He felt a gentle peace encompassing himself, slowly taking into himself, and really believed that Rex was proud of him. With that belief Speed, however briefly, knew that he was fulfilling the obligations of his time on the Earth.

    Outside of the track Racer X was leaning against the Falling Star, savoring the warm smoke of a cigarette as it filled his lungs. On nights like this, cold with the biting onset of winter, he liked to sneak out of his shared bed and be near the tracks where he could hear the final glorified shrieks of the end of a big race. As he listened to the crowds screaming “Speed, Speed” he could feel a fond pride welling up despite his cold exterior. In these moments, embraced by the cold and the grey halo of smoke, he felt like he could keep on going through the motions of life, despite all semblances of tedium.
    He flicked the butt of his cigarette into the asphalt by his feet and ground it out with his leather boot.
    “These days it just gets colder and colder,” Racer X mused aloud, and opened the door of the Falling Star, taking his place in the driver’s seat.

    “These days he just gets colder and colder,” Inspector Detector sighed across town in his flat, staring at X’s cold pillow beside his own.
    He rolled over to face the wall, clutching the navy down comforter against his bare chest, and shivered almost deliberately. They had been living together coming on eight years now, ever since a frightened Rex Racer showed up at his door, huddled in his race jacket against the cold of a particularly biting winter. Legally, he was already dead. Legally, nothing had kept Detector from taking the eighteen-year-old into his home.
    During the first couple of years Rex had depended on Detector for everything, and Detector had felt a fatherly sense of pride in saving the boy from the life he had been living with Race Fixers. Slowly, however, things had changed.
    Detector smiled a little to himself, remember the face of then-nineteen-year-old Rex Racer standing in his bedroom doorway, silhouetted by the light from the hallway and whimpering out softly, “I had a nightmare.”
    Against all better judgment he had taken Rex into his bed, meaning only to play nighttime sentinel for the boy, and had instead awakened the next morning, embraced by the youthful body that was only seeking the warmth of his own.
    As the bedroom door slowly opened, Detector closed his eyes and desperately feigned sleep. The bed bounced back as X sat on the edge, removing his shoes. Detector wondered if X could tell he was awake. He thought about X’s joshes over breakfast about the volume and speed of his snores, and painfully acknowledged that he was being completely silent.
    The comforter tightened against Detector’s side and underneath it Detector could feel the cool night air that still clung to X’s skin. Detector inhaled slowly, and he could almost smell the exhaust of the race cars from the track.
    “Are you awake?” X asked huskily.
    Detector made a show of yawning and stretching his body out slightly. “Mm.”
    “Hey,” X said softly, needlessly. He scooted towards Detector under the covers, and Detector could feel his palms, still cold from outside, smoothing down the skin on his shoulders. He exhaled deeply. X gently kissed the base of Detector’s neck, moving up along his jugular. Detector tensed. “Hey,” X repeated, his voice spinning moist heat into Detector’s ear.
    Even though he was trying to feign disinterest, Detector could feel his skin getting warm, and small trails of sweat forming along his hairline and cheekbones. X’s hand slid down his chest leisurely, rubbing back and forth gently over his stomach. Smiling softly, Detector rolled over to face X, who promptly captured his mouth in a gentle kiss. Detector couldn’t help widening his smile, a familiar contentment forcing it.
    However, deep down, even more familiar than his faint contentment was the undercurrent of fear that love wouldn’t last in this graceless age.

    At Thunderhead the crowds had dispersed hours ago. As the lights turned off one by one, Speed walked down the middle of the track, absentmindedly watching the grille beneath his feet and the world that was even further below. He came up to the first great jump, fondly reliving a plethora of childhood memories. He remembered watching Rex make the jump at blinding speed when he was a kid, winning the record for the Raceway. The world didn’t seem so far away. “All my heroes have died,” he thought as he felt his heels catch the rough end of the jump as he inched his feet into the oblivion.
    He closed his eyes, thinking about the serene expression on Rex’s face, pressed against his heart. 
    “I guess I‘d rather die than fade away.” Speed thought as he hit the track beneath, feeling his bones break.
   
    Inspector Detector sighed into Racer X’s shoulder as X entered him gradually. He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply as X withdrew, and reentered. Detector felt dizzy, adrenaline was clouding his thoughts, he was reduced strictly to the feeling of sweat and friction between two bodies, the way X’s hair felt soft from having worn his mask, the appearance of X’s eyes clenched shut. An image of Rex Racer surfaced in his mind, young and naïve Rex Racer, eyes wide open to the act shared between the two men. X broke his reverie with a bite to his shoulder and he called a climax, semen shooting between their bodies and blending with sweat. “Feels just out of reach.” Detector thought, rolling his eyes back behind closed lids.

    Trixie was leaving the Racer household after having spoken with Pops at length. Speed hadn’t come home after the race, instead saying he would go to Inspiration Point with Trixie. She felt her heart fluttering against her leather jacket as she slammed her car door, anticipating a long night.